I couldn't think of a thing that I hope tomorrow brings. Oh what a surprise. Stupidity tries.

El Cielo Esta Callendo Guey

All that dialogue doubling back on me, all that tangled talk, all that growling need.

"If you cut it down, then you'll never know"

"Lightning Promise"

"Ego"

"Brian"

May 18th 2009 12:22AM "You say you know, you know, you know, but I know that you don't, you don't you don't"

I returned home from an amazing concert at the Troubadour an hour ago. I'm beat and want to go home manana but I don't want to forget the details of the night. Not necessarily a play by play... but the feeling in general. Like how when he stepped on the stage to play his first song it was so beautiful that I got goosebumps and tears welled up in my eyes. A smile spread involuntarily across my face and I could barely even sing along.

When the Goddamn Band got on stage with him it was like this breathtaking sound. The other guitarists' sounds were echoing and I would feel the drums in my chest and throat. Every time Kevin took a breath and uttered a sound into the microphone my eyes rolled back in my skull with pleasure.

He closed his eyes so often.

His body wasn't grounded by his mind; it was acting on its own accord, following the music. He swayed and his head moved in circles around the microphone. He backed away and shouted perfectly reeling back on the device. His wolf's mouth stretched open to one side and his neck craned, face red, sweat dripping, flying into the blue, green and pink lights. And when the song would come to the climax I lost most control of my body and it swayed and my neck herded my head from side to side. I sang to the ceiling. I sang to Kevin. He flew backwards with such awkward elegance. He beat his guitar to death, he trampled around from side to side, swung it in the air, stamped his foot and heaved his body up and down as if it were limp from the waist up.

I don't think I've seen something so pure in a long time.

His shirt; blue long sleeve collared button up, was soaked and only the bottom button managed to stay dry. I'll remember his small bright eyes that looked toward the ceiling, toward the back of the room, towards nobody at all. He was everything I hoped for. His voice was perfect. It was beautiful. I am so in awe. I cannot fully explain the impact of this night.

Cars are little blood cells, we are oxygen.

I finally saw the most amazing man in the entire world perform music this past, past Sunday. It was absolutely fantastic. I don't (and won't) ever forget it. He was beautiful. His voice was incredible, the band was sensational. They blew me away. The fans were beautiful. I can't even describe. I can die happy now.

Men Die Under the Mountain Just Lookin for Gold, Some Die Lookin For a Hand to Hold.

I am aware of the fact that this is a complete waste of time.  That it is of interest to no one (almost including myself, if that makes sense) and that I should certainly be working on homework.  I am also aware that it is hot in this room.  Much hotter than necessary, however I suppose it is always hot where I choose to reside.  Or else, my body temperature is completely off the charts (I suspect that I am prematurely going through menopause).  Anyway, I had to make it clear my feelings at the time because I have no one to tell  (perhaps because I chose not to tell people things unnecessary of telling unless I find it hilarious or relevant).  Right now, I am completely in love/hate with school.  Ringing my own neck with projects and yet excited for the outcome.  And all this time I love being busy, but hate that my inner monologue is rapidly disappearing.  I had slightly overdeveloped my self awareness during the idleness of summer, and now that I lack the time to sit, think, and draw (out of leisure) I certainly miss it.  I don't have time to think for no reason, and no matter whether that is a good or bad thing, I miss it.  I thrive off of being alone but feel as if my work is interfering with my alone time (on the account of non-peaceful thoughts that accompany me while I work).  Now, I understand that One needs work, preoccupation, thought with a specific purpose.  I think the only idea I am trying to communicate here is that I haven't looked at the planes as I did a couple months ago with awe of their gracefulness.  I have no purposeless thoughts at all.  However, I suppose this is it.  This is my small chance to unleash those once again, and here I go with it, running as I always do.  I guess I found the time after all.  Anyway, listen.   

Olive Rhyme: Day One

We began our very long lunch, entitled Olive Rhyme, with a rousing game of rock, paper, scissors.  If you know me well at all, you have come to realize that this is the traditional way of deciding everything.  Lindsey won and we decided to fill our "picnic" basket with many goodies which we consumed throughout the next four days. 

We stopped in Santa Barbara to try the infamous Blender's coffee drink.  The ONLY coffee drink that Spivvy will ever consume.  I decided that this is due to the fact that it tastes the least of coffee and more like a fantastic milkshake.  However, I very much enjoyed it.  I also enjoyed the Starbuck's restroom after too many hours in the car.  

Our first tag occurred here, in Monterey.  We found this spectacular spot, as well as one further south where we took some photos.  We all got splashed at some point.  I think that it was around this time that I realized my shoes were a terrible mistake for this trip.  It would prove more than true as the days went on.  

Later than night we were extremely hungry and (as always) had trouble deciding.  Shiv busted out his iphone and found us a Mexican place that was still open.  We sat down and all decided on the same meal.  Our enchiladas were incredibly garlicy.  We should have just gone with the two pitchers of Margaritas and nothing to eat.  

 We ended day one at Cole's sister's house in San Jose.  It was quite cosy.  We fell asleep in an overly creaky bed and I woke up next to Monty the Cat, who drooled on me several times.  I liked him.  

Song of the Day: I'm On a Boat by The Lonely Islands feat. T-Pain

If you think you can predict it, well you fool and you fake

                        The Marching Bands of Manhattan
                               LA County Fair

Two paintings I've recently finished.  

On an entirely separate note, my best friend Jenn left me today to move across the country.  We experienced The Eternal Return for the first time together a couple hours ago.  It is growing on us.  So far Tides and Into the Grey are my favorite. Also I am in love with the artwork.  Besides that, we chose not to cry (although i barely kept my promise) and she drove down Washington as A Distorted Utopia played in the background. She will always be incredibly special to me.  That one year changed the course of our lives to intersect from now until forever.  We are lucky to have found each other. I hope she and Jeff are fantastically happy in Chicago.  I will miss her dearly.  

 

Your team.

My cousin visited me from small-town West Point Nebraska this week.  My younger (yet not little) brother accompanied him and we toured LA in true tourist fashion.  We hit the beach, Venice, Hollywood, Santa Monica, saw Transformers, went to Warped tour and ate delicious food which he has never tasted the likes of.  Hanging out with two teenage boys was very interesting.  All in all, I think he genuinely enjoyed himself and it makes me happy.